Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Not-So-Secret Secret To A Happy Marriage

It is so very sad. Of every 5 marriages, 3 end up in broken homes, broken hearts, broken dreams. How is that possible when most couples start out so very much in love?

My wife and I have been married 21 years. And every day has been better and happier than the one before. We are closer now than when we wed. And we owe it all to our little "scret", that really is not much of a secret. In fact, it is quite obvious, as long as we do not allow life to distract us.

I'm not sure how to explain it, or what to name it, but I can tell you what it is we make it a point to do - every day.

Upon waking, we have our morning java, 'cuz our eyes don't open and our brains do not function without that burst of caffeine to jump-start everything. And before I can see the bottom of the cup, I have silently asked myself the following questions:

1) What can I do today to make my wife smile?
2) What can I do today to make her life easier?
3) What can I do today to make her life fuller, happier?
4) What can I do today that will make he realize how important she is to me?

By doing this, I make her the center of my world, which is where every spouse should be to the other. And by answering those questions, and doing those things (pour her coffee, start the laundry, tell a joke, sweep her off her feet), I get the joy of making her happy, and she, in turn, does the same for me. It is something we agreed to do those many long years ago.

We then spend the day doing all those things that life requires of us, but we never forget that they are NOT life, and they are only important as long as we are happy. So, day-to-day stuff, though necessary, is secondary. My wife and I are ALWAYS first in each other's hearts and minds.

No day has ever passed without holding each other, looking deeply into each other's eys, and saying, "I love you." And we kiss. Deeply. With passion.

And when the day is done and darkness falls over the bedroom, we each pray. We pray to thank the Lord for the day we just had, and the love we share. We pray that He gives us yet another, tomorrow.

It is just sad that so many people forget to do the little things they did when they first fell in love. They allow work to come first. Their "schedule" becomes more important than taking a few moments to hug, to kiss. They allow life to get in the way of thier love.


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